Its been a while since I wrote in a blog... But my dreams are weird, and they need recording apparently. Easier to type than it is to write it up in a book.
20 days until I get married. I know. I'm doing something totally grown up, and although i'm 27, i'm definitely not too young... But i don't feel it anyway.
My dreams are weird. Sometimes really upsetting - nightmares really.
The most recent nightmare was that I was walking around the town (like a run down town that the houses were built into rock or something) and I was out and these two girls were bullying me cause they thought I was a "slut" per say cause I had a son, tried explaining to them I was married and stuff but I ended up running from one of them. I ran into my house and went to see Brendan, and found him and who I assume was my son hanging from their necks in the middle of the lower room. There was someone else there dead as well, but I don't know who. Then people I know started coming in and walking away when they saw me crying.
The other dreams that have upset me have revolved around people ignoring me.... much like my uni friends from my pharmacy degree do already. It was saturday morning, and I woke up feeling really shitty and angry. Which isn't like me. But what i quickly realised is that the dream I was having (Meaning I continue a dream once i drift off to sleep again), I was angry and frustrated in the dream. The dream goes - i'm at a what I assume is a pharmacy conference, but its like at Tuggerah westfield. Anyway many people I know there are all from my pharmacy degree. They spend the whole time ignoring me, which annoys me. It appears to be a weekend conference, and I tell Brendan I want to go home. We pack up our things, and I get shitty at brendan because he's not picking up all our stuff, which some is still sitting on the floor. Anyway, next scene is we're eating "breakfast" at the hotel, and i've got fruit on my plate, and the waitress comes and takes my food away, even though i'm not finished (barely started) and I complain, and she tells me i'm done. I tell her I'm making a formal complaint. So this is why I wake up shitty.
My remedial Massage therapist is also trained in aromatherapy... he's made me up a concoction of a few oils to use a drop at nighttime on my pillow. Its got Lavender, Fragonia, Sandalwood, Rose Geranium and Vetiver. Lets see how this works. I need to sleep, I'm getting married! And I stress way too much. I just want to be married to my man and not having anything go wrong. I've been working so much trying to pay for this wedding... that i didn't really want anyway. I would have preferred to go somewhere and elope.
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